Rantpire

Seriously. I'm done with this "new" breed of vampire fiction. I say "new" because most of these movies and tv shows are based on books that are almost a decade old. And in some cases, even older. Please don't read this as a diss on Stephanie Meyer. I got nothing against her as a person or her books about the adventures of borderline cannibalistic fairies. I just don't get why people insist on calling them "vampires". Vampires burn in the sunlight, not sparkle. Call me a purist, but I think that if you're going to call somethinf by a name, you should probably stick to the agreed upon definition of said word. For example, if I were to call an animal that barks and wags its tail a "bird", you would probably be confused as to why I don't just call it a "dog". And you know what? You'd be right.

You know who I really blame though? Anne Rice. Yes I own almost all of the Vampire Chronicles and have read the first 5, but looking back, she was the one who popularized this image of the vampire as the misunderstood tortured soul. Lestat eventually went from lovable rogue and a prick, to the 13th apostle.

You know who was an awesome vampire in relatively recent fiction? Proinsias muthafuckin' Cassidy! That was a bloodsucker who knew what he was and made no bones about it. he even got his redemption without being too emo about it. Awesome modern vampire. Give me 10 more like that guy and Ill start caring about vampire fiction again.

What's that you say? I can give a single dispensation to one kinda "fey" vamp?


Fine, I'll take William the Bloody. Any man who marches off to certain death saying "We band of buggered" can't be all that bad.